Local volunteer reflects on three decades as a ‘Big’

Marc Sageloly has been a key volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Sault Ste. Marie since 1993.

The Big Brothers Big Sisters of Sault Ste. Marie mentoring program — the local chapter of a movement that began in the U.S. in the early 20th century and expanded to Canada — provides boys and girls from six to 16 years old with a needed adult role model and friend to talk to and share positive experiences with as they grow up.  

Boys and girls in the program are matched with a compatible male or female adult friend and become their Little Brothers or Little Sisters, ‘graduating’ from the program at 16.

Apart from providing good advice to children — such as encouraging them to do well in school and make healthy lifestyle choices — mentors take children on outings and introduce them to a wide range of recreational activities such as fishing, skiing and other sports or encourage them to develop artistic talents.   

“When I joined it was just Big Brothers (before Big Sisters joined with the boys charity in 2013). The young boys, to qualify, had to be living in a ‘father-absent home.’ The mom, aunt, grandma or whoever the guardian was at the time felt that their young boy would need a male mentor in their life, someone they could look up to and spend some time with. The Little Brothers that I’ve had, that was the key reason they were in the program,” Sageloly told SooToday.

As a child, Sageloly had a father in his life but the two weren’t always able to spend time with each other.

“We were a single income family. My mom had MS so my father was the sole provider for a big family. I tried to spend time around my dad as much as possible. There was an eight year difference between myself and my next oldest brother. They were pretty much doing their own thing and I didn’t really have the opportunity to have those quality relationships with an older brother or sister when I was growing up.”

That was one reason he joined the charity and became a Big Brother to others as he began his adult life.  

Community involvement was another.

“When I came back to town after graduating from university I knew I wanted to get involved in the community in some way, in a way that would be meaningful. I wasn’t interested in joining a big charitable organization. I felt I wanted to work with a smaller agency and I've always loved working with kids, being around kids. I have lots of great nieces and nephews and I always enjoyed spending time with them, so joining Big Brothers was a natural fit,” Sageloly said.

‘Bigs’ are paired with one ‘Little’ at a time and Sageloly has so far mentored three Little Brothers in his time.

“We spent a lot of time playing basketball, tennis, throwing a football around, frisbee, mini-golf, all kinds of different activities outside. There are so many activities that you can do that don’t require any financial resources.”

‘Bigs’ and ‘Littles’ can also go on outings to museums or movie theatres.

Through the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program, children are matched with mentors for three or four monthly visits.

Visits are one to three hours in length for a total of approximately 10 hours per month.

Matched visits can include going for walks, playing sports, attending community events, visits to places such as the Bushplane Museum, going out for ice cream and playing board games. 

Support for mentors is provided by Big Brothers Big Sisters staff who are available for phone calls, emails, updates and check-ins.

“There are also events that are put on by the agency. They end up taking them to events in the community, like visiting a museum, going to a farm or going to the show. A lot of our kids like going to Galaxy Cinemas,” Sageloly said.

He knows his dedication has been appreciated by his Littles who are now adults with their own families.

“They would thank me all the time,” Sageloly said.

“One story that sticks out in my mind is that one of my Little Brothers and I built a go-kart together. We had a soap box derby. We ran it for a number of years. He was just thrilled that I showed him how to build a go-kart. We made it together, put his own style on it, his own touch, and we won one year. He was crying and he had the trophy in his hand and he said ‘Marc, I have never won anything and now I’ve won this derby.’ Years after he graduated from the Big Brothers program he mentioned that a few times, so that’s pretty heartwarming for me.”

Another boy Sageloly worked with began experimenting with drugs in Grade 7. The boy’s mother approached Big Brothers for help and Sageloly was matched with the youngster.

“When he was graduating from the program at 16 he said to me ‘Marc, I never thanked you for helping me out in Grade 7 and Grade 8. I know now that I should have thanked you then but if it wasn’t for you I’m not sure if I would’ve made the right decisions, and you know I don’t do drugs anymore.’ That meant a lot to me as well,” Sageloly said. 

Sageloly is a Donald Doucet Youth Centre youth services manager and, apart from having been a Big Brother, remains a long-serving member of the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Sault Ste. Marie board.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Sault Ste. Marie is a not-for-profit, charitable organization that is managed and governed by a volunteer board of directors who support the local office’s staff members in delivering the programs which meet the mission and values of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada.

Children in need of mentors are those who have suffered from what Big Brothers Big Sisters calls various ‘adverse childhood effects.’

Those effects include:

• Social isolation
• Parental separation or divorce
• Being involved in or removed by Child Welfare Services
• Being involved in a situation where a household member has had a substance abuse problem, experienced mental illness or has been incarcerated or involved with police
• Having experienced bullying
• Seeing or hearing violence at home, in the neighbourhood or at school
• Experiencing the death of someone close to them
• Arriving in Canada with refugee status
• Being exposed to household financial stress, including parental unemployment
• Coping or recovering from a mental health illness

A study conducted by the Boston Consulting Group in 2013 shows that Big Brothers Big Sisters one-to-one mentoring has a deep impact on the lives of young people who need those mentors.

Compared to non-mentored peers, youth who receive mentoring are:

• 17 per cent more likely to be gainfully employed and earn 13 per cent more on average
• 50 per cent more likely to volunteer and 13 per cent more likely to give to charity
• 60 per cent more likely to report feeling consistently happy and 45 per cent more likely to report feeling consistently confident
• 50 per cent more likely to have a strong social network

Though there are currently 43 matches between ‘Bigs’ and ‘Littles’ locally, there is still a need for more adults to volunteer their time as ‘Bigs.’

“We have 40 kids on a waiting list so we need 40 Big Brothers or Sisters,” Sageloly said.

September marks Big Brothers Big Sisters Month across Canada.

Adults 18 and older interested in becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister must go through a few steps for acceptance into the agency’s mentoring program.

They include completing an application, an interview in which staff get to know the prospective mentor and get an idea as to which child or youth might be a good match for them, undergoing a criminal reference check, providing three references and receiving training and orientation before being accepted by the agency and matched with a child.

Information about Big Brothers Big Sisters of Sault Ste. Marie programs, contact information, how to become a mentor and testimonials from both clients and mentors can be found by visiting the agency’s website.

The agency’s Big Bunch program is there to help fill a need while children wait to be matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister.

“The Big Bunch program is very important because unfortunately, we don’t have enough Bigs for the Littles that want to get matched. While they’re on the waiting list we do activities that the agency puts together to give them a sense of belonging until they get matched up with a Big.”

Big Bunch activities can include monthly arts and crafts events, a movie night at Galaxy Cinemas, horse rides or walks on trails.

“I just get a personal sense of satisfaction knowing that I’m giving back to the community in a meaningful way. That’s what my father did. When I was growing up I saw my dad get involved with the United Way, with the MS Society and with friends who needed help. He would help unplug sinks and fix people’s steps. He was a helper and I always knew I wanted to be like my dad someday and by doing what I do now I get a personal, really good warm feeling knowing that I’ve contributed to the community in a meaningful way,” Sageloly said.

He urges those with an interest in being a Big Brother or Big Sister to get involved.

“It doesn’t take a lot of time and if you really enjoy what you’re doing it just becomes a part of your regular routine. Find out how little it takes to make a big difference,” Sageloly said.